Puff Daddies

Face it, how did kids named Leaf, Sunshine, Seagull, River and Purity grow up to become advertising VPs, computer virus writers, Enron accountants and hedge fund brokers. Don’t look now but today’s tots being organically, sustainably and eco-responsibly raised to within an inch of their lives may already on to some nefarious forms of rebellion.



Take this item at the Kidrobot store where watermelons, bananas, green peppers and even salt and pepper shakers do nothin’ but hang about taking sweet carcinogenic drags off those nasty ol’ cigarette butts.



Uncle Brent, your spouse’s immature youngest brother, may think this is a great gift for the kids, and no doubt so will little Whinston, Kayleigh and Opus … but you? You’re better off not knowing. Just go back to scrubbing each cherry tomato with the bio-degradable soap and pretend you never read this.



Smorkin’ Mongers